My Story Part 3

So the months go on.  He breaks up with me, he takes me back.  He accuses me of cheating, I cry all night,  every night.  He calls me a liar, I cry all of the time.  The month of August I get pregnant.  I was 6 or 7 weeks along, I haven't gone to the doctor yet.  I knew something was wrong, because I wasn't very sick.  For 2-3 days he was really putting his crap on me, I was shaking like a leaf, couldn't eat and always crying.  I miscarried.  It was the saddest I have ever felt.  He took very good care of me while I was miscarrying.  He took care of the kids for me and made sure I had a heating pad and pain meds.  It didn't last long.  I got better.  I buried the embryo on the side of my house and I prayed.  I didn't tell him.  It broke my heart knowing I had lost a baby.  He found out, because I couldn't lie to him, he saw right through me and he always thought I was up to something.  Here we go again...he was calling me names, pissed off because I did it without him, calling me more bad names.  He told me to get out of his house.  All I did was sit there and take it, and cry.  He didn't care.  All he cared about was himself.  Then about 30 minutes later he apologized and I accepted it because I didn't want to loose him (yeah I know, what was I thinking?).  Days went on same old thing, fighting, arguing, him pulling me around by my shirt, name calling.  Sure there were good and wonderful days and that is why I stayed and kept going back, because of those days, even though the bad days outweighed the good ones.  In November I became pregnant again.  We had went our separate ways for a few days.  But I still wanted to be with him and marry him...